Starting Line Skippers Pillows

Annual fear of failure marathon.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

Reading the signs of change...'Looks like this is the last day of vacation, so tomorrow it's back to school, kids...'

You Know It's Hot When. . . Walking on the Grass Burns your Feet. . .

"Oh boy, one sure way to stop my parents from laughing is to show them my school report..."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

'No, I didn't fail anything this year. I'm pretty sure my parents sent me to summer school because they hate me.'

fat woman passed her handbag to husband before getting weighed.

'You want us to go fishing tomorrow? Wait, I've got to check my appointment book.'

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

"Papi, is it okay to fail?"

'Well, I couldn't get find the note from my doctor, but he did send me this get-well card!'

"But I don't want to get well, I'll have to go back to school!"

'School would be all right if you could just go during commercials.'