Starting Line Skippers T-Shirts

Annual fear of failure marathon.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

Reading the signs of change...'Looks like this is the last day of vacation, so tomorrow it's back to school, kids...'

You Know It's Hot When. . . Walking on the Grass Burns your Feet. . .

"Oh boy, one sure way to stop my parents from laughing is to show them my school report..."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

'No, I didn't fail anything this year. I'm pretty sure my parents sent me to summer school because they hate me.'

fat woman passed her handbag to husband before getting weighed.

'You want us to go fishing tomorrow? Wait, I've got to check my appointment book.'

Glenn had a knack for circumventing long lines at the pharmacy.

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

"But I don't want to get well, I'll have to go back to school!"

'Well, I couldn't get find the note from my doctor, but he did send me this get-well card!'

"Papi, is it okay to fail?"