Line Skipper T-Shirts

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

'Now that the clocks have changed you can use that extra hour that you can't spend in the garden decorating the kitchen'

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'What type of line are you using?'

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"

Young against old

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

Beach Bouncer

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"