Shoreline Skipper Pillows

New York Sightseeing Cruises

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

A private jet takes off

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Remote controlled car on a boat.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Stock quotes on beach.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'What type of line are you using?'

"Lawyers and rats fleeing the ship; that can't be good."

The Empire State Building's design was modified slightly after the 1933 'incident'!

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

'I have no idea who he is, I like to keep myself to myself.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

fat woman passed her handbag to husband before getting weighed.

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

Hot Water

'Mind if I go ahead? I've just one can of dog food.' - 'Goodness no. If you're that hungry, go right ahead.'