Skiver Supreme Gifts

'I brought my doctor to verify why you're not at work, Shapiro.'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

They've been inseperable since the avalanche.

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

"I was only kidding when I said you have ring around the collar."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"I'm great at dodgeball, because I don't show up for gym class."

'If you don't have schools on your planet we'd like to go with you!'

"Not again!"

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

Tight Rope Ski Lift

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"For big, important things, it's the Met and the Modern, of course—but the Whitney is great for stocking-stuffers."

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

'And...?'

"Wow!! This doping stuff is worth every penny!"

'I hope he's all right. That Times is three weeks old.'

'I tried faking a fever by putting a hot cloth on my forehead. My plan was foiled when my mom checked my pop-up thermometer.'

Sorry, I'm too ill to come in today. More medicine please, nurse.

"I'm sure you've been reading about the enormous emotional pressures we teenagers are under today, so I know you'll understand when I say I've just been too stressed out to write my history paper."

Downhill skier collides with mountain climbers.

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

"I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead."

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

"The teacher says you tried to fake a furball cough to get out of doing the Maths test!"

'On the bright side, I can now tell all my lawyer friends I argued in front of the supreme court.'