Skiver Gifts

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

Fishing from the Pier

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

They've been inseperable since the avalanche.

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

"I was only kidding when I said you have ring around the collar."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"I'm great at dodgeball, because I don't show up for gym class."

'If you don't have schools on your planet we'd like to go with you!'

Tight Rope Ski Lift

Honey, can you see the Olympic Village from up there?

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

"Not again!"

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

Early detection was rarely helpful.

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'Bu it is Cup Final day, Boss!'

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

Death warmed up.

'I hope he's all right. That Times is three weeks old.'

'It's not safe the way it is. It could fall on someone.'

'I tried faking a fever by putting a hot cloth on my forehead. My plan was foiled when my mom checked my pop-up thermometer.'

"Wow!! This doping stuff is worth every penny!"

"I'm sure you've been reading about the enormous emotional pressures we teenagers are under today, so I know you'll understand when I say I've just been too stressed out to write my history paper."

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

Downhill skier collides with mountain climbers.

"You shouldn't have."

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."