School Skivers Gifts

"I miss school...as often as I can."

"The teacher says you tried to fake a furball cough to get out of doing the Maths test!"

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"I'm great at dodgeball, because I don't show up for gym class."

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'If you don't have schools on your planet we'd like to go with you!'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

"I like Monday mornings...and Friday afternoons. But all that in-between stuff bums me out."

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

What teachers want to say.

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

"Well our move was PARTLY global warming and partly because the schools are better down here."

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

'Just a few more lessons on the training skis, and you'll be ready for a solo run, Mrs. Trimble.'

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

Reading the signs of change...'Looks like this is the last day of vacation, so tomorrow it's back to school, kids...'

"Frankly, Ms. Brandt, I'm content to leave addition to the experts."