Gym Smoothie Gifts

Slower, @#%^, slower!

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"We're exclusively delts."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Bench Press Accident

"OK, ready to go again?"

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Exercise now!

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

No caption. (A mother runs on a treadmill with a baby carriage on the treadmill next to her).

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Keep Fit.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.