Gym Smoothie Pillows

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We're exclusively delts."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Bench Press Accident

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Exercise now!

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Keep Fit.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.