Gym Membership Sceptic Pillows

'He had just signed a $700 fitness club membership contract. Luckily, there's a five-day cooling-off period.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"We're exclusively delts."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Exercise Bars

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Joint Ventures!

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

To-Let Town Centre Map

Ring for Service.

'Will I still be married?'

Easy chair exercise machines

Macho man body building club.

"Do you have a motorized one?"

Protein Powder Irony

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Boxing gym: get your jabs here

"Seriously, your body is incredible; mine is so disgusting!"

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."