Gym Membership Sceptic Mugs

'He had just signed a $700 fitness club membership contract. Luckily, there's a five-day cooling-off period.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"We're exclusively delts."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

Exercise Bars

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

Frank & Ernie's Health and Fitness Equipment for Elite Athletes. Our first delivery is there free weights we're taking to a golfer. He'll be working on his irons! This is going to a swimmer. A massage table for back strokes! A pro snowboarder bought this hyperbaric chamber. He wants to get big air! And we'll finish by taking the treadmill to a baseball player's basement gym. Of course ... for the home runs!

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Joint Ventures!

To-Let Town Centre Map

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

'Will I still be married?'

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

Ring for Service.

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

Easy chair exercise machines

Macho man body building club.

"Do you have a motorized one?"

Protein Powder Irony

Boxing gym: get your jabs here

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

"Seriously, your body is incredible; mine is so disgusting!"