New Gym Membership Pillows

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

Ring for Service.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"We're exclusively delts."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Bench Press Accident

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Exercising

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."