Gym Membership Collector Pillows

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"We're exclusively delts."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Exercise now!

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Exercise Bars

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Battery lifting weights

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

Walking To School Simulator

"Too much club."

Ring for Service.

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Seriously, your body is incredible; mine is so disgusting!"

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Exercise is a great way of losing weight."

Exercising your heart.

Heart shaped man exercising with weights.

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

'That's our group plan.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'Elaine, Elaine... we're doing the child's pose today, not the fetal position.'

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

"First, I'd like to know what arrangements your company has for flexitime!"