Gym Equipment Collector Pillows

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Exercising

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

Geekasaurus.

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

'And this war game comes with an AK 47.'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

'He had been like this since he broke his nose.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'Hello Biggo Sports Supply? About those bats I ordered.....'

"I got you a larger, heavier jump rope. It will give you a more-intensive workout."

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

With exercise equipment, it goes on layaway after I buy it.

"And now, we have added a special adaptation for the Luftwaffe head gear."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

Cricket

"My handicap? The water, trees, windows, sand...."

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

home fitness/fatness

'Have you been buying useless football memorabilia off the internet again?'

Camelflage.

'With the handy remote you can adjust your exercise program from the couch.'

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

"I can't seem to find the camouflage trousers. . ."

Cull people who treat gym equipment as a place to sit and chat.