Gym Equipment Pillows

'With the handy remote you can adjust your exercise program from the couch.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

Cull people who treat gym equipment as a place to sit and chat.

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"We're exclusively delts."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"OK, ready to go again?"

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Bench Press Accident

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Exercising

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."