Gym Equipment Pillows

'With the handy remote you can adjust your exercise program from the couch.'

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

Cull people who treat gym equipment as a place to sit and chat.

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Bench Press Accident

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"We're exclusively delts."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"It's true: no more burpees."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Exercise now!

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Exercising