Gym Gear Collector Pillows

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Sport Utility Boot.

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

The Hooligan.

"Thank goodness you only bought him dumbbells."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

'And this war game comes with an AK 47.'

Preparing for Dating Opportunities in 2020

'He had been like this since he broke his nose.'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'I bought a treadmill, so if he sleepwalks again I know where he is.'

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'George, did you order a lure retriever from E-Bay.'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

With exercise equipment, it goes on layaway after I buy it.

"I got you a larger, heavier jump rope. It will give you a more-intensive workout."

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"My handicap? The water, trees, windows, sand...."

'Hello Biggo Sports Supply? About those bats I ordered.....'

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

"And now, we have added a special adaptation for the Luftwaffe head gear."

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

"I'm after a gym outfit that will most likely never see the inside of a gym."

home fitness/fatness

Camelflage.

'With the handy remote you can adjust your exercise program from the couch.'

"None? Good - what about long-term goals?"

'Me too. I've lost 25 pounds. Sadly not in weight, just in wasted, unused membership fee!'

"I can't seem to find the camouflage trousers. . ."

Cull people who treat gym equipment as a place to sit and chat.