Gym Membership Holder Pillows

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Powerful Love.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"We're exclusively delts."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Exercise now!

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Exercising

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

No caption (A man running on a treadmill hands a relay baton to a man on the treadmill in front of him).

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."