Gym Membership Holder Pillows

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Powerful Love.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"It's true: no more burpees."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

"We're exclusively delts."

Exercising

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Exercise now!

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."