Joining A Gym Pillows

Fitness centre has man exhausted from filling in application form.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'I joined an exercise class to meet men, but all the men there needed the exercise way too much.'

"Would you describe your current level of fitness as very fit, somewhat fit, fit to be tied or not fit to stand trial?"

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"The hardest part is getting out the front door."

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

Gym. You lost a pound this week? It's only because I always leave here too tired to go looking for it!

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

"We're exclusively delts."

How to lose weight.

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

Exercise Bars

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

On the back of the t-shirt...

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Bench Press Accident

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."