Joining A Gym Gifts

Fitness centre has man exhausted from filling in application form.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'I joined an exercise class to meet men, but all the men there needed the exercise way too much.'

"Would you describe your current level of fitness as very fit, somewhat fit, fit to be tied or not fit to stand trial?"

'My cellulite is getting stronger.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"The hardest part is getting out the front door."

"We're exclusively delts."

How to lose weight.

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

Exercise Bars

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Bench Press Accident

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."