Going To The Gym Gifts

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

"Feeling stupid yet? No? Then keep going!"

Muscular Dad

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Muscles

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"We're exclusively delts."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Bench Press Accident

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"