Going To The Gym Gifts

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

"Feeling stupid yet? No? Then keep going!"

Muscular Dad

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Muscles

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

Bench Press Accident

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"OK, ready to go again?"