Gym Gifts

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

One week after new year. The rest of the year.

"Visiting your health club's website is a start, but I'd prefer you actually go there and exercise."

'I started a serious workout program yesterday. So far I missed only one session.'

'I don't mind you earning more money than I do, or driving a more expensive car, but do you have to bench-press more than I do, too?'

' Don't you think your taking this exercise wheel a bittoo seriously?'

"Great grunts, next week we'll try some weights."

Yoga for beginners,

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

'Okay. . . five more! Spring forward! Fall back.'

Exercising your heart.

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

Man on a treadmill desperately trying to get at a carrot dangling infront of him from a stick tied to his back

'Come on you fat sweaty useless ugly slob!!...Get those flabby white legs moving!!'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'Since I got this exercise ball, my abs have gotten into the best shape they've ever been!'

Exercise bikes passing each other.

They're taking this survival of the fittest thing a little too far.

Rowing machine on a river.

"There's no proof that anabolic steroids improve performance of accounting tasks."

'Hey, buddy! Unless you're passing, get out of the left lane!'

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"And we'll close with a moment of silence for all the people with jobs who couldn't be with us today."

'I had a mammogram this morning. I think if I have a few more, I may be able to touch my toes without bending my knees.'

'I can help you develop your triceps, possibly beef up your chest. But to be brutally honest, you need to be erased and completely redrawn.'

Blow up muscles.

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

Image changing.

Trapped in the treadmill.

"I can defend this hill for another hour, but then I really need to get to the gym."

"Sorry. I thought it was a typo."

'Which program would you like - the use it or lose it, or use it to lose it?'