Gyming Gifts

'I can lift an elephant with one hand. . . Show me an elephant with one hand and I'll lift him.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Powerful Love.

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Bench Press Accident

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"OK, ready to go again?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'