Gym Goers Gifts

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'I don't mind you earning more money than I do, Gretchen, or driving a more expensive car, but do you have to bench press more than I do, too?'

"There's no proof that anabolic steroids improve performance of accounting tasks."

"Whatever."

"You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping breakfast, and jumping to conclusions doesn't count."

Woman says treadmill reminds her of her life.

"I workout so I don't have to eat kale."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"He tried intermittent fasting. But settled on continual slowing."

The Ten Resolutions

"Smacked down by reality in 24 seconds."

"Ok, that kind of spotting. No. I'm not doing that."

Health Club Warning

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

Man eating and exercising at the same time.

'I call this exercise 'Urban Aerobics'

"People shouldn't have names until they're 30."

"You're missing the point, Bob."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Powerful Love.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"We're exclusively delts."