Gym Membership Gifts

The Ten Resolutions

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"OK, ready to go again?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Bench Press Accident

"It's true: no more burpees."

"We're exclusively delts."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Exercising

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.