Guns Gifts

"We Can Do It!"

'I know...It's so nice to finally be able to leave the kids at home without a babysitter, now that they have the means to keep themselves safe.'

'It's not for hunting. I just want to be able to protect my family from deer attacks.'

'I wish you would look at me like that.'

'You wouldn't shoot a fellow NRA member, would you?'

'That's why i never wear my mobile phone next to my gun.'

'Well, Hamilton, we can add 'discharge shotgun' to the list of things people who live in glass houses shouldn't do.'

"Since I don't have a family, I pretty much use it to protect my other guns."

Five reasons why congress should NOT ban assault weapons.

"Still, I hope you won't give up barking entirely."

'Seriously, how close did the bullet really come to you?'

'We found these spent cartridges at the scene Chief. Looks like it was Hewlett-Packard.'

'Careful dear, that bullet might contain depleted uranium!'

Pistols at dawn.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

Hunter looking at a deer wearing a sign saying "N.R.A. Member".

"My gun's in the shop. Let's establish a dialogue."

"We're pretty traditional around here. I handle everything on the domestic front except security."

'The N.R.A's Written Test for A Gun License.'

Trigger Happy hour 5-6

Gun-toting granny.

"Just to let you know where I stand on the 2nd Amendment, I'm packing heat under my robe!"

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

"Oh, Wow! That pistol's a vintage P38. Can I hold it please?"

'My theory is that they're into guns and religion because they're bitter about their economic circumstances.'

Beware Of The Dog Owner

The most dangerous spiders are small but deadly.

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

Gun shop - don't know what to get that graduate with a short temper?

Gun Shop - "Congratulations, you're my first customer! Empty your pockets."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'Never shoot straight up.'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Suddenly the laws of nature had changed. . . . Doreen had a Magnum!