Guitar Workout Guru Gifts

"This exercise is good for arpeggios, scales, and biceps."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Lennon and McCartney.

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

ZZZZZZZ Top

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"This next one's another oldie."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Exercise Class

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Eric Clapton.

The trim reaper

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Bashful in Nashville

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Plum jam...

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

'What are you eating now?'

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"Check out this new store."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

The Great Blues Heron, Live at the Sandbar

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'