Guitar Giggler Gifts

'My next song is about a singer who should get into another line of work.'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Clown God

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

Get on with it!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Fancy a pint?

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'He's wearing a toupee.'

2pm meet your Creator

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Balding gnomes