Guitar Giggler Gifts

'My next song is about a singer who should get into another line of work.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Clown God

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Hardy Annuals

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Get on with it!

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Fancy a pint?

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"What are you in for?"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Balding gnomes

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

2pm meet your Creator

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."