Gospel Giggler Gifts

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

Jesus Seals the Hick...

'Big Issue!'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Wine?! Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Get on with it!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Fancy a pint?

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

2pm meet your Creator

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

I am one with stupid.

'Man, I'm bombing,'

Speaking words of wisdom, letter B

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'