Guilty Pleasures Gifts

Other Walks of Shame

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"I'm a monster."

A couple decides what to watch.

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

Golf escape.

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

Luxury Mini-Breaks For Parents

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

"It's my day off."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

The Food of Shame.

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"If a bowl of ice cream isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

'I got 5 years for something I didn't do. I didn't run fast enough. . .'

"...Oh muffy, I'm as happy as a pig in Zen"

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

REPLACING THE BURGER TANKS AT MR. BIG'S.

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

What do you like most about presents?

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"I've been reading the trashiest scientific abstract."

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

"This advice column is the worst trash I've ever read! And I should know! I've been reading it every day for the past 20 years!"

'Fascinating. The rats choose chocolate nine times out of ten, but they always feel guilty about it later.'

'Got anything more exciting?' - 'Yes, under the counter we have hamburger and chips, beer and chocolate cake.'