Guilty Pleasure Lover Gifts

Golf escape.

I love this, argh, no, it's Atomic Kitten, I'm not allowed to like them...

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"I'm a monster."

A couple decides what to watch.

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"It's my day off."

The Food of Shame.

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

REPLACING THE BURGER TANKS AT MR. BIG'S.

'I got 5 years for something I didn't do. I didn't run fast enough. . .'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And we'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert … I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. House of Java.

"I've been reading the trashiest scientific abstract."

"Table for a retirement part of one, please."

"This advice column is the worst trash I've ever read! And I should know! I've been reading it every day for the past 20 years!"

'Got anything more exciting?' - 'Yes, under the counter we have hamburger and chips, beer and chocolate cake.'

Trump in a prison cell.

Satan Fast Food

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

"It's deliciously trashy."

Other Walks of Shame

"We are starting our diet tomorrow, so we need to eat this lot today."

"It's called Devil's Food Cake because each slice contains 1000 calories!"