Guilty Pleasure Enthusiasts Gifts

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

Things I should be proud of - but am not. Things I shouldn't be proud of - but am.

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"I'm a monster."

A couple decides what to watch.

Rodeos

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

People hanging on to the horns of the raging bull of 'Business'

"It's my extreme sports camera. I thought it would be cool to show my mom what I do at work."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Emperor penguins attempting to fly.

Golf escape.

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

"Never mind how I got up here — what happened to Grandma?!"

"It's my day off."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

"In case your chute fails to deploy, just bounce."

"And you laughed when I had it installed."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

"You live very near the edge, don't you"

The Food of Shame.

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

'Are you ready to experience what no man has ever achieved before?'

'Then there's the thrill of the chase. You'll never get that with soybeans.'