Guilty Pleasure Indulger Gifts

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

The Food of Shame.

"It's my day off."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Make your resolutions achievable.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

A couple decides what to watch.

"I'm a monster."

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Golf escape.

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

"I found this fabulous new shop."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

He'll have a crumb of wheat toast. No I won't! I'll have a sausage biscuit with cheese. And we'll have a plain glass of water. No I won't! I'll have a mocha with whipped cream. And for dessert … I'll have a hot buttered blueberry scone with pumpkin-spice frosting and peppermint sprinkles! That looks lovely! He'll have plain yogurt. If you don't eat right, you won't be around for me to berate. Give me a double donut burger! A triple would be more humane. House of Java.

REPLACING THE BURGER TANKS AT MR. BIG'S.

We'll have the Christmas feast for one. She means for two. He'll have a small bowl of cold oatmeal. No I won't! I'll have that Christmas feast! The turkey … the stuffing, the yams, the pumpkin pie a la mode with whipped cream, the extra-thick, brandy-infused eggnogg, the cranberry sauce, the succulent ham ... the reindeer jerky, the frosted sugar cookies with butter flakes, and the noose-shaped chocolate cupcakes with cheese filling. He'll have half a saltine cracker. You know what the doctors s

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.