Guilty Pleasure Indulger Pillows

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

The Food of Shame.

"It's my day off."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"I'm a monster."

A couple decides what to watch.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Gucci Firenze 1921"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

Golf escape.

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

"I found this fabulous new shop."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

Pasta, Cookies, Antacids.

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

'I got 5 years for something I didn't do. I didn't run fast enough. . .'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

REPLACING THE BURGER TANKS AT MR. BIG'S.

"I've been reading the trashiest scientific abstract."