Guilty Pleasure Enthusiast Gifts

Satan Fast Food

"What are you watching?"

"This advice column is the worst trash I've ever read! And I should know! I've been reading it every day for the past 20 years!"

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"I'm a monster."

A couple decides what to watch.

Rodeos

People hanging on to the horns of the raging bull of 'Business'

Emperor penguins attempting to fly.

"It's my extreme sports camera. I thought it would be cool to show my mom what I do at work."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

Golf escape.

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Never mind how I got up here — what happened to Grandma?!"

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

"It's my day off."

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

"In case your chute fails to deploy, just bounce."

"And you laughed when I had it installed."

"You live very near the edge, don't you"

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

The Food of Shame.

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'