Guilty Pleasure Ponderer Gifts

"Psst... You could always buy another lunch at lunchtime."

Extreme Sisyphus

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

A couple decides what to watch.

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

Golf escape.

"It's my day off."

A Donut Ride Outside of a Police Station

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

"At this time boarding first will be all first class passengers, a.k.a. the more important people on this flight."

"Oh, swallow your pride and go to the eye doctor!"

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

World Meat Consumptiom

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'Sure, but king benefits aren't portable.'

"Having a fine old name really has been enough for me."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

The Food of Shame.

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

'I often commit the sin of pride, Reverend. I imagine myself being googled.'

Corporate Ladder

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

'I got 5 years for something I didn't do. I didn't run fast enough. . .'

"Remember to take into account my client had no life coach."

Quarantine: The great equalizer

REPLACING THE BURGER TANKS AT MR. BIG'S.