Guilt Gateway Explorer Gifts

Will assuage guilt for money.

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

Bad Mom Cards - Collect The Whole Set!

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

Former Survivalist

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'

Shrink to criminal - 'At what age did you lose your innocence?'

'Fascinating. The rats choose chocolate nine times out of ten, but they always feel guilty about it later.'

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"You're not even listening, are you?!"

"This is a charity calling. Please stay on the line for the voice of human kindness."

'I just couldn't bear to be without Floyd. So I had him stuffed!'

"You're still with me every day, Mom. Please stop."

'I strive to remember people's names to make them feel guilty about forgetting mine.'

"He's still dead then?"

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

'I've given up smoking, become vegetarian, use only environmentally friendly aerosols, vote Green, use unleaded petrol, but I STILL feel guilty...'

'Come on - cry, this is meant to be the saddest day of your life.'

"Who broke my St. Pius figurine?"

"Your funeral program. Y'know . . . for whenever."

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

"You can see my childhood here."

Woman Browses Section Labeled "Guiltmaking"