Guilt Analyzer Gifts

Shrink to criminal - 'At what age did you lose your innocence?'

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Confirmation Bias

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

Feeling guilty? Florest

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

'Just stop listening to Public Broadcasting, and your guilt complex should clear right up!'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

Will assuage guilt for money.

Protests

'If he starts to pet you excessively whilst she's shouting it usually means he's feeling guilty.'

'Aack! Four star guilt!!'

The Grumpometer.

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

Actress on botox expressing emotion.

"Who broke my St. Pius figurine?"

"Okay, I feel guilty...you're reading and I'm watching TV."

'Don't send me back - please! They hate defectors. I'll be benched for life!!'

"You've come a long way, baby."

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'

"You broke the window, huh?"

"I'm too old to be incorrigible, and too young to be crusty. I'll have to be just plain offensive for a while."

"Man! I hate to think of what the collective guilt adds up to around here!"