Grumpy Gnome Gifts

"He's forgotten why he was shouting at the telly."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Oh my God with the singing!"

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Moanathon.

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

Grumpy Old Men

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Sunnyside down.'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

'Quick, the coffee!'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'FQ...?'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"No more cross buns for you!"

Pissed-off hour.

Moan Pig.

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

'I'll kill that dog of yours.'

'Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the street this morning.'