Grumpy Gnome Gifts

"He's forgotten why he was shouting at the telly."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Grumpy Old Men

Moanathon.

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

'Sunnyside down.'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 12

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

'FQ...?'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

'Quick, the coffee!'

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Pissed-off hour.

Moan Pig.

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

"No more cross buns for you!"

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'Not now - I'm under a lot of atmospheric pressure.'

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

'Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the street this morning.'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"