Grumpy-but-lovable Pillows

A man in bed shoots his ringing alarm clock and his floor is littered with clocks,

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Grumpy old merry men.

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

I HATE STUFF

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

Matched pair

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

"You say every Winter is your 'Winter of discontent'."