Grumpy Yet Lovable Pillows

"I...hate...this....song."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Grumpy old merry men.

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Oh my God with the singing!"

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

Uncle Murray Weekly

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

"You say every Winter is your 'Winter of discontent'."