Grumpy Yet Charming Pillows

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Grumpy old merry men.

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Oh my God with the singing!"

"You have the Hum bug.'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

I HATE STUFF

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.