Grumpy-but-lovable Gifts

A man in bed shoots his ringing alarm clock and his floor is littered with clocks,

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Grumpy old merry men.

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'You only love me because you haven't got a boyfriend!'

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

Uncle Murray Weekly

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

I HATE STUFF

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."

Matched pair

"You say every Winter is your 'Winter of discontent'."