Grumpy Yet Soft-hearted Gifts

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

I HATE STUFF

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Moan Pig.

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

Matched pair

Ex-hippie-now-staunch-Republican Herb Miller's freak flag keeps on flying, much to his chagrin.

'Always arguing, questioning, no patience, no respect for authority...'

"I...hate...this....song."

A man in bed shoots his ringing alarm clock and his floor is littered with clocks,

'I can't eat because I'm on a diet, I can't drink because of my ulcer and I can't be merry because I'm a grouch.'

Scrooge Tells Santa to Bugger Off.

'Growing old is like being continually punished for a crime you never committed...'

"He died at the end. There. I've spoiled every story every written."