Grumpy Apparel Lover Gifts

Proud to be a senior citizen and Just give me my damn discount T-Shirts.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Oh my God with the singing!"

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Self-help books for cynics'

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'Did he just flip me the feeding fish?'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'And don't bother your father. He tossed and turned all winter.'

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

Never Satisfied.

It's the latest thing: a nicotine patch tie.

I don't know what my beef is today...

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

"You hearing aid you miserable, mean, catankerous old git."