Grump Mood Tamer Gifts

"Working with older people is part of the job!"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

You have the worst spring breath.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"Oh my God with the singing!"

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'Cheer up...'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

"Dang it."

'I know how you feel.'

Alarm clock.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.