Growing Up In The Digital Age Pillows

"Describing it as a life-changing experience that will haunt you for years to come may be a little dramatic. After all, our Internet was only down for an hour."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Baby Screen Time

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

Newborns on cell phones

"Buy my data $20"

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

His Master's Data.

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"Aww, look. Baby just seeped her first credit card!"

"Would it make life easier if I just ordered my presents online and sent you the bill?"

Ascent of Digital Man

"Uh uh uh...that's not a touchscreen."

'What's the point of all this school business when we can just look up things on the internet?'

'Usually you know they're growing up when they get their first teeth. Nowdays it's when they start downloading their first apps.'

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"Congratulations! You've downloaded a baby girl, have you given any thoughts to a username?"

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

The revised 12 days of Christmas

"She's growing up so fast! Already she's texting and not paying attention."