Grouch Appreciator Pillows

Help the Humorless

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

I Pagliacci

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"...but, seriously..."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 1

"Clown pirates!! Whatever you do, don't underestimate their numbers!!"

'You can't be serious.'

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

'Good grief, Martha...surely I can slump into a little grouchiness occasionally.'

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

First Cynic in Space

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

"Are you binge watching again?"

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

A Drive-By Glutening

Log in, paper out.

"And I take it that 'Mister Jolly' is a puppeteer by profession?"

Crappy Diem

Zippy the clown