Professional Grouch Appreciator Pillows

"Stan's not much of a morning person...then again, he's not much of and afternoon or evening person, either!"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

I Pagliacci

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

Mediterranean Martini

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 1

"...but, seriously..."

Odds 'n Ends/Odd 'n's

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"Clown pirates!! Whatever you do, don't underestimate their numbers!!"

"The first step toward enlightenment is dissillusionment."

'You can't be serious.'

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

'Good grief, Martha...surely I can slump into a little grouchiness occasionally.'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

"It's from my Swiss account."

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

Barristers playing a joke

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.