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Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 14

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

I Pagliacci

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"...but, seriously..."

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 1

He has died...but is he really, really, really dead?

"Clown pirates!! Whatever you do, don't underestimate their numbers!!"

'You can't be serious.'

'Good grief, Martha...surely I can slump into a little grouchiness occasionally.'

'Eww, when did this building get that hideous gargoyle?'

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

"Are you binge watching again?"

'Known in his youth as the 'Keister Bunny', due to the many atomic wedgies he received, Peter would become the greatest of all cottontails.'

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

First Cynic in Space

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

A Drive-By Glutening

Zippy the clown