Grooming Professional Gifts

Adult Barbershop

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Bathing the dog

"Absolutely not!"

"Too much concealer?"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dogs shaving

"Be creative...!"

Dating is so expensive...

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'That'll be four thousand and eighty pounds please'

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Movember

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'